And since blame is always easier to give than to receive, we tend to look at the people around us with perhaps a bit too much anger, resentment, or spite. We say, "If only I hadn't married so young," or, "Why did the children have to come along so soon," or, "If I'd had more support, maybe I would have finished college, done something with my degree, or had a better career."
Intrinsic in each of these claims is the notion that circumstances were beyond our control, that other people held the reins and we were just along for the ride, jolted to and fro in a buggy we'd not wanted to be in to begin with.
But Truth is a noble trait for a reason. Nobility is not something to which one is born. It is not inherited by right. Nobility is something learned and earned.
A wise person once said, "Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgment." I'm not certain of the origin of that statement, but I am certain of it's veracity. Nobility is the capacity for excellent judgment. Truth is a noble trait because one cannot judge well when one's beliefs are not founded in truth.
It's always easier taking the falsehoods we believe at face value than it is to really examine what we believe.
It's not just the one spouse who is to blame for a young marriage. Both parties said, "I Do." One might just as easily complain that marriage came too late.
The children didn't decide for themselves when to be born. The parents, both parents, chose to engage in those activities that produce children. Many who were never granted children, or who were only able to bear them later in their lifetimes, are similarly unhappy with the hand they were dealt.
And no one is more in charge of a college education than the one who is being educated. After all, no teacher can teach a student who is unwilling to learn. And students whose focus is on their education will find a way, whatever it takes, to accomplish their goals. Plus, it is never too late to learn something new.
It is easy to play the blame game with our regrets. But it is far nobler to recognize the opportunity before us when we realize we have regrets. As regrets are the natural consequence of bad judgment, once we acknowledge our mistakes we can say we're already two thirds of the way. We've made poor judgments, experienced the results of that, and if we are true to ourselves, the choice is now before us to make better judgments, better choices, thereby reaping better rewards.
It's time to turn regrets into new opportunities.
